Aug. 24th, 2012

I awoke today at 6am.

Well, more accurately my little black bear of a Pomeranian woke me up as he had to pee urgently and after some minutes of whimpering discreetly, he now had to make a stand that my lazy bum needed to march him up on the roof deck and let him pee on the doggie run like every other normal human would.  "I'm up!  I'm up!  Jeez."  He gives me the stick eye.

The roof is quiet when it is this early and I know I don't have to talk to any neighbors who are up there for the same reason. I silently cheer this discovery.  My social skills at this hour are not fine tuned enough to make small talk as our canines smell each other.  I'm pretty sure my building tenants have written me off as a snobby minx.  I never take more then five minutes to have a conversation ...afterwhich an alarm goes off inside me that I am being too friendly and before I know it they will be knocking on my door asking me if they can come in to hang out for a bit (this has been known to happen in my previous dwellings) so I steer clear of any kind of meaningful connection to avoid these messy complication.  However, I regret this fact about myself almost every time I awkwardly take my leave.  Why can't I just be communal and hospitable?  My hermetic social unrefinement still follows me to this day...it is like I am a kid, filled with anxiety all over again.

Now back in the safety of my loft I stretch almost as I enter through the front door.....yessss.  Home.

I'd make breakfast if there was someone here to cook for.  My daily yogurt and a mate tea is the only thing I can stomach when I start my day.....but how I love to sit at the breakfast counter and think about the day ahead...or the night before.  Chat about what I dreamt about, which is always something strange or revealing, and then rise with a sense of purpose to begin the morning.

It is the last week of Aug. and practically the whole of the civilized world is off someplace.  VACAtion time.  Labor Day, end of summer, school about to begin.  I am perfectly happy not to be going anywhere this coming week.  Let the city empty out and traffic subside.

I remember living in New York, this week Manhattan was fantastic.  You could literally feel the throngs of people evaporate and the streets become airy, private somehow.  I should remind myself of that more often.